A funny thing happened on the way to the Metaphorest. The Magick is gone. Suddenly, grown to full size without the existence of extropy to keep them thumb-height, the Faerie Folk have to find a new way and a new place to live. But there is hope - the Crystal Dwarfs are dying out and they want an infusion of new blood, preferably female, not too tall and a bit dim. The King of Elfland leads his motley tribe of Imps, Emps, Amps and Umps to the Hole of the Mountain King because the Diamond Duke and five guys named Mho take a shine to Princess Titania and her gels. Little does anyone know that some vestige of Magick still resides in certain crystals. Anyone, that is, except Lobster Rampant of the Third Ear and his band of New Age Dippies.

Will Titania get married in white shoes and a mini-dress?
Will Prince Vince stage a takeover?
And who is Idaho Jonah?

Read this, and you'll be none the wiser.

This book is mything something important - New York Review of Tooks