Did you ever sit back and wonder, "Does anybody else stress like they are about to die all the time?"
On the other side of that same coin, do you ever ask yourself, with intended hope, "Is today going to be the day I finally die?"
If you answered yes to the first, I would say it was likely you had anxiety. Yes, to the second? Depression. But none of us are quite as simple as that. Many might think to themselves, "Man, it is terrifying to be in this store right now, anybody could be a murderer" but the minute they are out of the store, see a big truck driving by and think "yeah, if it just turned RIGHT NOW, it would be perfect."
Aint no raisins in my potato salad how you cope, but its important that you try to do just that, COPE. You only live once, but the same can go for dying. Take a moment in my margins, doodle, write your own poetry, RIP OUT THE PAGES, if that's what it takes to help you cope, but don't give up on or doubt yourself. You've got a lot of work ahead of you, and all the potential and capability to reach your goals, find a normal, and heal. I am proud of you, and I hope this poetry HELPS.