<p>&lsquo;Everyone farts and everyone blames the dog,&rsquo; Ripper grumbled, scratching his black-and-brown head. &lsquo;If the Queen farted, then farting would be a Royal Event and no dog would be blamed for farting ever again, especially not this dog, the one you see here, in front of you, with his tail between his legs because he&rsquo;s unhappy, because he doesn&rsquo;t like being blamed unfairly.&rsquo;</p>