I have grown up in a Bible based denominational church all my life. As a kid I did not find Christianity attractive just like many young person, but could not help noticing the enjoyment of others bewitched by the pomp ceremonial splendour. With golden altars, religious painting with the Christ picture crucified at all to see.

In contrast to our society the imposing impressive procession was a behold that evoked man's love of pride and splendour. The procession of ministers followed by the performance of rituals, tagged along the congregation seemingly was one impressive entry that had all the holiness embodied, from the onlooker. It is a gorgeous display that charms everyone's eye. It all looked like the music, splendour, procession and even the preaching to a soul sick audience like myself took precedence of all. Change of heart never occurred to me. In all of these, my reason and conscious was silenced, star stuck by its splendour.

Did I did not know that this was the beginning of the longest and dreadful war to take inside of me. My troubled soul that did not have a sound argument of its prevalence was only to be thwarted by conforming to the world.

The pressure of merging culture of any kind with a man inner Spirit, had caused troubled soul of grand proportion. The more the conformity to the world, the extreme the troubled soul and greater the fear. It was just too overwhelming to leave with such discomfort. It was like I had murdered someone, maybe I did, my inner Spirit.