<p><strong>Congratulations.</strong> You have been qualified to participate in the national <strong>Horror Fitness Triathlon. Swim, bike, and run into death-defying fun</strong>. Only the <strong>top 66</strong> from <strong>66,666</strong> that smash <strong>Planet Tri&#39;s</strong> high personal record will advance to compete, while the <strong>rest will croak in their pull floats</strong> down the oceans throat lying in defeat. If you think you got what it takes then <strong>dive into the pitch-black sea</strong> but make sure you can see because if your wetsuit pierces the <strong>hidden green larvae eggs your legs will quickly feel like lead</strong> and you&rsquo;ll be wishing you were dead. So, grab your Aero bars and climb up the steep rocky road terrains. And when you <strong>feel the gusting heat and winds</strong> pouncing on your skin know that you may <strong>go a little insane</strong>.</p><p>But don&rsquo;t fret because as you <strong>shake off your biking legs</strong>, you&rsquo;ll face one long run up the <strong>never-ending wall of pain</strong> feeling your quads dead. And those that crawl down the sharp rocks onto the flat tarmac will have no time to <strong>RICE those worries as Mary&#39;s final stretch </strong>will make you do <strong>one last bonk dance</strong> before your final test.&nbsp; Only a select few will <strong>hug the finisher fleece</strong> while <strong>Planet Tri&#39;s Alien Marshalls</strong> will <strong>transport the rest</strong> to a new moon base <strong>poaching and pronating their insides</strong> painfully to sleep.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>